The Next Step

December 31, 2005

This is the day we were leaving for St. Louis. Anthony was almost one month old and we decided to drive instead of fly to avoid the chance of him getting sick. My parents were flying in from Cleveland around 10 a.m., and the plan was to pick them up along with a larger rental car and head to St. Louis. We estimated that it would take three days, so we left as soon as possible. Along the way we stopped to feed and change Anthony but other than that we drove all day. We stopped at night and got up first thing in the morning to hit the road again. Our appointment was scheduled for Jan. 3 at 9 a.m. We arrived in St. Louis the day before and got settled in before Joe had to make a run to the airport to pick up his mother and her husband. They were all going to be there for our visit with Dr. Carstens as moral support. 

January 3, 2006

We arrived at the hospital around 8:30 a.m. and nervously waited for our name to be called. I was feeling very anxious and scared because we needed to make a decision today about Anthony’s treatment. Debbie came out to get all of us and took us into an exam room. I don’t know if it was because there were so many people in the room or that I was feeling so anxious, but boy did that room seem hot and small! Dr. Carstens came in and looked at Anthony and began to explain his procedure and how it was different than the traditional repair. He explained how his technique fixes the problem from the inside-out and how the long-term results lead to fewer surgeries. I felt dizzy. We were being hit with so much information that when it was time to make our decision, we asked everyone to leave the room. I didn’t know what to think. My mind was still processing what Dr. Carstens had told us, but Joe was ready to make a decision. 

He looked at me with 100 percent certainty and said, “I want Dr. Carstens to perform the repair. It is the best thing for Anthony.” At that moment I knew that he was right and that this was the absolute best choice we could make for Anthony, and we told Debbie about our decision. She immediately made an appointment for us with Dr. Richard O’Brien, the prosthodontist who fitted Anthony for an appliance that would help prepare his mouth for his upcoming surgeries. The appliance fit like a retainer and Anthony adjusted to it well. He actually preferred to have it in. Luckily we didn’t have any trouble with it and didn’t need to make any trips back to St. Louis before his scheduled surgery in June. In fact, he wore it until the day before his surgery when it wouldn’t stay in his mouth because he had outgrown it. The timing was perfect. 

It was final: Anthony’s surgery was scheduled for June 16, 2006. The only thing to do now was wait. After a few visits with Dr. O’Brien to make sure the appliance fit well, we headed back to Las Vegas. 

Over the next five months we dealt with some very emotional issues. The first was taking him out in public because we could always count on getting stares and sometimes rude remarks. I will never forget the most hurtful incident that we encountered was at a local restaurant. We were having dinner and Joe was holding Anthony because he started to fuss. A family of three sat at a nearby table began to stare. In fact, the father and son were making rude comments about Anthony’s appearance. The mother had to tell the father and son to stop. At the time Joe wasn’t aware of what was going on and I didn’t tell him until after we left because I was afraid of his reaction. This bothered me for days. We are proud of our son and the way he looks. He is blessing and we love him more than anything. Why couldn’t other people look at him and see a baby, not just his cleft? I don’t think I’ll ever understand this. We never minded if people asked us questions. We just hated it when they stared. After a while we started to not notice other people’s reactions. All we can do is shower Anthony love and kisses and tell him that to us he is perfect. 

I’ve read on some support websites about parents debating whether or not have their child’s picture taken if they were born with a cleft. I say, “DO IT!” We fell in love with Anthony’s smile from the very beginning. I never want to forget the way God made him and we have hundreds of pictures of him. The first time we took him to have his pictures done professionally he never stopped smiling. It was so cute the way he flirted with the photographer. I think he liked her! The bottom line is that this was our Anthony and we loved the way he looked. In fact, over the next few months we talked a lot about how much we would miss his smile after his surgery. We wondered if he would look the same and if his smile would be as intoxicating as it had been since the day he was born. All of these doubts were put at ease when he shared his first post-op smile. 

June 15, 2006

We arrived in St. Louis around 1 a.m. and got very little sleep before our CT appointment, which was scheduled for 8 a.m. We were told that Anthony would need to be sedated for this but he was so calm and relaxed that he laid still the entire time and didn’t need any sedation. Joe and I have never given him any kind of medication because at 6 1/2 months, he had never been sick, so we were a little nervous as to how he would react to it. Fortunately that day he didn’t need it. My mom had just flown in from Cleveland, and so after the CT scan we met her in the cafeteria and had breakfast before our appointment with Dr. Carstens at 10 a.m. During this appointment, we talked with Dr. O’Brien, who decided that Anthony wouldn’t need another appliance after his surgery and he gave us instructions on how to take care of the two teeth he had already sprouted. We also met with an ENT and decided that there wouldn’t be a need for Anthony to have tubes in his ears. We were very pleased with the news that we had already received. Things were going great. 

We talked with Dr. Anthony Admire, who assisted with Anthony’s surgery, and Dr. Carstens. At this time we discussed how Anthony’s lip, nose, and gum would be repaired and how to care for the tubes that he would wear in his nose for two months. The tubes would be an essential part in maintaining the structure in his nose after his surgery. We were instructed not to feed Anthony after midnight and he could have water or Pedialyte until 3 a.m. After all of our questions were answered we felt comfortable and confident and left the hospital. Now the countdown was on. There were only 24 hours until Anthony would have his new smile. We were excited but also scared. Our faith was in the hands of Dr. Carstens.

Next Page>> Anthony's new smile